


Azula's Sessions

by assortedlemons



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Fire Nation (Avatar), Healing, Mental Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Post-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Therapy, mental health, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25604311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assortedlemons/pseuds/assortedlemons
Summary: Alone in a dark cell, Azula is forced to face the ghosts of her past. Will she win and finally be free of her past or will she sink further into her darkness.*Trigger Warning. This story contains abuse and self harm. If this type of material disturbs you, please don't read.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92





	1. The Beginning

“Why are you here? YOU LEFT ME AND I HAD ONLY HIM!”

Somewhere, deep within the Fire Nation’s prison for the criminally insane is a 17-year-old girl screaming at a wall. From the outside, she seems like normal teenager, but there lies a dark past in her. The girl who once brought fear in the hearts of millions is now in a straightjacket. Her room is empty, only a bed and dirt to comfort her. There used to be large mirror, but after she threw herself at it, the nurses took it away after that. She spends her days and nights yelling at a wall. There is nobody there, but to her it is. Everyone she ever knew is there.

“Stop it. GO AWAY! Are you mad that I didn’t turn out like your precious Zuko? YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM. WHERE WERE YOU? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HE…” she turned away from the wall then. Whatever was there, she didn’t want to stare at it anymore. She remained faced away, never looking at the stone wall.

What happened to this beautiful girl? The Firebending prodigy with her blue flames that brought cities to their knees. She took over Ba Sing Se, the city that once thought impenetrable. She took it down and burned it to the ground. So, why is this powerful young woman reduced to this? Why is she in here?

“Where were you when he…when he forced me to fight?” she whispered back to the wall. “Those long, horrible hours…I never wanted to fight. I wanted to play with you and Zuko. I wanted to play with the Turtleducks. I JUST WANTED TO PLAY!”

Her father always forced her to train. After witnessing her Firebending demonstration, he was determined to turn her into a weapon. He knew Zuko was too soft, but Azula was not. He knew with the right training and words, he could manipulate his own daughter into a ruthless killer. On the first day of her training, Ozai pulled Azula away from Zuko and began feeding her lies. He told her that Ursa hated her. He told her Zuko hated her. He lied when he told Azula that Zuko saw nothing in her and that she was the true heir to the throne. He lied when he said her friends, Mai and Ty Lee, hated her. She cried so much that day. 

“I never wanted to do that. I hate myself. I hate who I am. All I wanted was to play, but you never saved me. You ignored me for him. I’M YOUR DAUGHTER TOO! Did you hate me? All I wanted was your love,” she cried out.

She fell to the ground as her salted tears poured down her face. She stayed in that position until the guards brought her dinner. They ignored her sobs and threw her food on the floor. Not even the nurse tried to comfort her. In silence, she ate her dinner as her guards watched her. She could escape, but what’s the point? Will her friends welcome her? Will her own brother welcome her?


	2. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I revised this version a bit to better suit the narrative. I hope you like this version better. :)

In the dark cold pit of the Fire Nation prison is a beautiful girl who doesn’t seem like she belongs there. She is confused and troubled. She lies on the ground, facing a wall of stone. Sometimes she will yell at it as if there was someone there. Sometimes she will hit the wall with her body. She screams and cries at night, throwing fits and claiming that they are watching her, but there is never anyone there.

“Do you want to continue where we left off,” the Doctor asks her.

Breaking her concentration on the wall, Azula slowly turns her body towards the Doctor. She studies the Doctor, going over her features. A soft angled face, forgiving eyes, gentle hands…just like her. Azula then starts to scream at the Doctor. She than stands up and proceeds to the woman, eyes blazing with fire, the woman panics and calls in the Kyoshi warriors to chi block her.

“Go away! I don’t want see her,” Azula screams.

An armored dressed woman rushes in the cell and chi block her. Her knees give in and she falls to the floor. With Azula powerless, a guard wraps her in a straitjacket and sits her in a wheelchair.

“Are you feeling better, Azula? If you want, we can send in another Doctor to talk to you,” one of the girls asks. Azula only nods, a slight slow nod. “Bao, send in the other Doctor.”

Another woman slowly enters the cell. She looks nothing like the other before. This woman, with her brown hair and emerald eyes, appears more like a former servant than a mother…her mother. “Azula, my name is-”

“I don’t want to know your name,” Azula cuts her off.

“And why is that? I know your name, don’t I? It seems fitting that you know mine as well.”

Azula pushes herself near the wall again, avoiding any contact with the new Doctor. The Doctor waves the Kyoshi Warrior away with her hand and proceeds to treat Azula. She studies the princess for a moment. Eyeing her movement and breathing. She breathes as if she is suffocating. Her eyes darting left to right. She would stare at the right wall for a second or two then quickly gaze at the metal door behind the Doctor. 

“Azula, you screamed at the other Doctor, why? Is there something that upset you about her?” The princess barely moves. She hardly makes a sound. “Azula, in order to get better, you have to trust me. I only want to help you.” She refuses to speak to her. She keeps avoiding her as if she was some danger. “Azula, please…”

“Don’t,” she finally speaks.

“Don’t what, Azula? It’s true, I want to help you.”

“Don’t call me Azula. I am a Princess of the Fire Nation and you will show respect.”

“Very well, Princess Azula.”

Azula turns to face her now. With her head held high, it’s hard to believe she is insane. In this moment, she shows confidence and pride.

“You may speak now,” she tells the Doctor.

“Princess Azula, the Doctor before me, why did you scream at her? Did she disrespect you?”

“That filthy peasant is nothing to me.”

_“Then why did you scream at her, Azula?”_

Azula eyes widened in fear. “No...”

The Doctor barely caught her faint whisper. She looks up to meet her golden eyes. She sees fear in the young girl eyes. Fear in the girl who used to bring fear to others. Azula tries to move, but her arms remained restrained in the strait jacket. Slowly, Azula begins to open her mouth and without warning, she screams.

“Leave me alone,” she screams, frightening the Doctor for a moment. She tries to hold in her worry. If she shows any sign of worry or fear, Azula might not trust her.

Two guards show up the door, but the Doctor shoos them off. “There is no one here but you and I,” she tells her.

_“She means something to you, doesn’t she?”_

“No! Leave! Why can’t you let me have a moment of silence,” Azula is now screaming in agony. Whatever Azula is hearing is hurting her.

_“She looks like me. That is why you screamed at her.”_

“Mother! Please stop,” she cries.

The Doctor eyes widen in realization. This explains everything. Why she screams at nothing at times. Why she screamed at Hua and why she’s screaming now. She sees Ursa in everything. Having heard enough of Azula’s screams, she calls in the nurse to sedate her.

As the drug works in her body, Azula eyes slowly close. She sees her mother’s hand reaching for her. Azula wants to reach for her, but something is stopping her from doing so. It is not the sedative, but a person. She can feel someone pulling her arm away from her mother’s safe hand. She wants to scream again, but she feels too tired. “Mother,” she whispers one last time before falling asleep.


	3. Intermission Part 1

“Do you think she will open up?”

“I’m not sure. Honestly, I never experienced this type of case. The girl’s mind is on an entirely different reality. She sees the ghost of her mother and talks to her. There is something else she sees and it hurts her. I try to get through her, but she shuts me out.”

A few week ago Azula and the Doctor were going over what happened the other day. Well actually, the doctor was trying to get Azula to talk. She still doesn’t trust her enough to open up. When the doctor asked Azula if she saw Ursa, Azula only laughed.

“When I told her about it, she only replied with ‘My mother is dead’ and then proceeded to ignore me. I tried to ask why she sees her mother, but she shushed me and told me to leave.”

“It’s good to know that Azula knows she is gone. That’s a start, right?”

“Yes. But seeing and hearing people who aren’t there isn’t a good thing,” the doctor sighs.

“When can I see her?”

“It’s not a good idea right now. She is finally making progress and no offense, but your arrival will cause to her to sink back. Give it time and she’ll be ready to see you. It might not be anytime soon. It might even be this year. She has been here for almost 3 years now and she is just started talking.”

She takes a sip of her tea and looks out the window of her office. “It’s about time I head back there. I told her I’ll be back before she sleeps.” She stands up from the chair and bows, “Thank you for this visit, Fire Lord Zuko.”


	4. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Trust is for fools." Azula has told herself countless times. Trust did not exist for her. All she knew was fear and when that fell, she had nothing left. Six months has passed since the Doctor started to treat Azula and she has barely managed to get though one layer of her mentality. How long until Azula starts to trust her and accept she is here to help her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* This chapter contains elements not suitable for people triggered by abuse or hallucinations.

_“You can’t honestly believe this woman is trying to help you?”_

“Leave me alone. I don’t want to hear you,” Azula shouted.

_“What makes you think she cares about you, my dear? You are a job. Just another form of money.”_

“You don’t know that!”

_“I bet she laughs at just how crazy you are.”_

“No, you’re wrong!”

Azula knees give and she falls to the ground. Tears angrily rush down the young girl’s face. The guards on duty ignore her pleas for help, waving it off as if this was a normal night. Except this is not like the other nights when Azula cries herself to sleep. It is not like the other nights when she spends yelling at her mother. No, tonight is different. Usually, Azula hears the voices of her mother, sometimes Ty Lee and Mai, but tonight there is someone else visiting her dark cold cell. This visitor knows every detail about Azula’s insecurities and fears. It has buried itself deep in her mind like a parasite. It consumes everything in her. It drains her of hope and life, leaving nothing behind but an empty shell.

Azula screams, tormented by this dark presence. “Mother, please help!”

_“Mommy isn’t here, Princess. No one is going to help you. Just look at those two guards outside your cell door. They act as if nothing is going on. They don’t care about you.”_

She desperately wants to give away. She wants to leave this room. She wants to get away from the immense agony, but her legs refuse to move. She drags herself to the metal door of her cell. She can feel it grabbing her legs, trying to pull her back.

_“Where do you think you’re going, Princess?”_

She musters the strength to grab hold of the bars and forces herself to pull upwards. Azula grips on the rails of the cell trying to get the attention of the guards, “Please, you have to let me out of here,” she begs.

One of the guards uses her bending to heat up the door, burning the former Fire Nation princess. She screams in pain at the burning heat, and falls back to the floor. “Back to the wall, girl. You’re not leaving your cell,” the female guard yells at her.

“Stop your tantrum, inmate. You’re giving me a headache,” the other guard tells her.

_“Did the mean guards hurt you, Princess?”_ The witch laughs, like nails scratching on a metal sheet. Azula covers her ears to try to drown out the disgusting laughter. She feels like her ears are bleeding. 

“Please, just leave me alone,” she says exhaustedly, slowing giving up and letting the malevolent force continue her cruel torment.

_“Where is your lovely Doctor? Just like all the others, she left you. Forgotten you. Burying the memory of you.”_

She has not seen any of them since being here. It has been a year and has not even received a single letter.

_“Really? Tell me, when was the last time your brother or your friends came to visit you? They do not love you, Azula. They do not care about you. You’re a monster.”_

By that time, Azula is a mess, a cascade of salty tears and broken love. She lies on the cold stone floor. She long gave up escaping. 

_“But I will never leave you, my dear Azula. No matter how far you get, no matter how old you get…I will always be with you.”_

Just when all hope became lost, the Doctor burst through the cell door and immediately takes hold of Azula. The Doctor thought Azula would push her away or scream at her, but she did not. Azula welcomed her hug and cried on her shoulder.

“Shh, everything is alright, Azula. I’m here,” the Doctor soothes her, stroking her hair.

Azula felt peaceful. The visitor vanished as soon as the Doctor showed up leaving Azula alone with maybe the only person in the world who genuinely cares for the young girl.

“Don’t ever leave me,” Azula cried. “Don’t turn out like the others. Promise me!”

The doctor pulled away from her to look at her. “I promise, Azula. I will always be here for you. Doesn’t matter if you’re sad, happy or mad, I will never leave you.”

A nurse cautiously brings a calming tea to them. She is trembling in fear, remembering the last time she got near Azula. She still has not fully recovered from the burns. She dashes out the room as soon as she hands the Doctor the tea.

She brings the cup to Azula’s face, “Drink, Princess.”

Azula knows what the tea is. Last time she was given the tea, she used her bending to heat the liquid to a scalding heat and spitted it out on the same nurse that just brought the tea now. Azula laughed manically watching the nurse scream in pain, covering her face, and running out the room. Nevertheless, she drinks the tea now.

The tea immediately starts working and soon Azula’s muscles begin to relax and her eyes become heavy. The Doctor carries her to the bed, tucking her in as if she was a child. Sleep finally comes to the Princess.

The Doctor smiles at her and then sees the fresh burns on her hand. Her attitude changes as soon as she closes the cell door. She faces the two guarding the cell, the same ones that burned the cell bars.

“If you ever do that again, I will personally see to it that you will _never_ see the Sun,” she threatens the two. Her eyes are burning with intensity. The guards only nod their heads, knowing full well the threat is real.

They were replaced the next day and when the Fire Lord became aware of what they did. They were imprisoned for treason for causing harm to a member of the royal family.


	5. The Princess and The dragon

Before the sibling rivalry, the Princess and Prince of the Fire Nation were just like any brother and sister. They loved each other as siblings should and were always there for one another. Since Iroh was still first in line for the throne, Ozai had the time to spend his days with his family. They usually went out exploring the nature side of the Fire Nation, but when the days were hot, Ozai would take his family to Ember Island.

This is where they are now, in the comfort of their large vacation home on the island. However, an unexpected storm interrupted their family time and now instead of enjoying a fire on the shore, they are trying to sleep through the howling night. For one small girl, the piercing cry of the wind brought her to tears.

Azula tried to fall back to sleep, but the tree branch scrapping the window made her think of monster ready to attack her. She tries to block the sound by placing a pillow over her head and for a while it worked. Finally easing into slumber, a sudden deathly loud noise of the booming thunder made the 6 year old jump from the bed like a cat reacting to water.

"I can't do this," she cried.

She ran down the hall to the one room where she knows she will feel safe. She knocked on the door, but the deafening noise from the storm blocked out her attempts. She kicked, punched, and even threw her body against the door. Tears ran down her cheek as she tried to get the occupant's attention.

"Zuzu, open the door," she screamed.

Just outside that door, a cranky boy wakes up to an annoying beating on his bedroom door. Angry with being awaken at the middle of the night, Zuko stomps his way to the door and irritably opens the door.

"You better have a good…ouf," as soon as Zuko opened the door Azula pushed her way into his arms, leaving the boy halfway done with his sentence. He notices his sister's tears and returns her hug, any remains of annoyance washed away upon seeing his little sister crying. "Shh, it's alright, Azula. I'm right here."

"Can I sleep here," she pleads. "I can even sleep on the floor if you want!"

Zuko swiftly picks up his little sister and walks to his bed. "You're sleeping with me," he tells her. He tucks her in gently and then slides in next to her. Azula wiggles her little body closer to her big brother and cuddles with him. Another loud thunder forces it's way to the girl's ears and she tightly hugs Zuko. "I'm here, Azula. I'm not leaving," he tells her as he gently strokes her back. "I'm not leaving you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Can you tell me a story?"

"What do you want to hear?"

"Can you tell me the story about the princess and the dragon?"

"I read that last time,” he complains.

"Please?"

"Fine," he sighs. "Uhm, okay. The Princess and The Dragon….are you sure you don’t want to hear another story?”

"Princess and the dragon," Azula stubbornly requests.

"Got it, Princess and The Dragon it is. Okay, once upon of time there lived a princess, a beautiful princess! She was loved by all the four nations for her caring nature. She cared for every animal, from a small lop-eared rabbit to even the feared and deadly unagi. One day, the princess was traveling in the Earth Kingdom when an injured man came to her for help. 'Please, princess you must help.' The princess looked worried and tried to heal the man, but he refused. 'My town is being terrorized by an evil dragon. Can you talk to him and ask him to stop,' the man asked her. The princess went to look for the dragon in a cave high up in the mountains. The villagers tried to send in help, but the princess refused. 'The dragon might feel threatened,' she told them."

"She walked deep inside the cave and then she heard a roar. The roar wasn't threatening, but sad. Almost like a child crying for help. She found the dragon then. It was lying near back of the cave, away from the entrance. It growled at the princess, 'I am here to help you, dragon. I am the Princess, what is your name.' the princess asked. The dragon only growled at the princess. It lunged at the princess, but she did not move. The princess knew how to bend, yet she did not defend herself. 'Why do you not fear me,' the dragon roared. 'I can kill you! I can kill everyone! Are you not scared of me.' The Princess looked at the dragon and slowly made her way to it. She looked deep into the dragon's eyes as the dragon did the same to her. 'I do not fear you, dragon. People change; sometimes a fearsome man may turn into a good friend. I believe there is good in everyone. You may have hurt people, but I know there is good in you,' the princess said. Her words set something in the dragon. He-"

"Do you think there is good in grandpa," Azula asked interrupting him, a hint of sadness in her voice. "Is there good in the Fire Nation?"

"Well, what do you think," Zuko replied.

Azula looked at him and then to the window. "I think, like the dragon, there is good in grandpa. The Fire Nation too and one day a princess will show everyone their wrong doings and change them. And life will be easier for us and the rest of the Nations"

Zuko chuckled, "Maybe that princess will be you."

They hold each other and the storm doesn’t seem to bother her anymore.

“Her words set something in the dragon. He saw the Princess different than the others. Where the others threw spears at him, the Princess showed kindness. ‘Tell me, Princess. Why do you think there is good in me? I killed your subjects,’ he asks her, still not trusting her. You can’t blame the dragon. All he knew was fear and rage. Every soul he ever met instantly feared him or tried to control him for his power. The Princess walks a little closer to the dragon, her eyes meeting his yellow eyes. ‘Yes, you may have caused harm, but this does not define you. You are hurt, dragon. All your life you have been shown resentment while you hid in this lonely cage.’”

Zuko stops telling the story and looks at his sister’s sleeping face. In the safety of her brother’s arms, she can rest. He places a small kiss on top of her head.

“Sleep, Azula. You will change the world.”


	6. Barriers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning. Contains descriptions of anxiety attack and child abuse.

“I used to really believe I would save the Fire Nation. I believed I would be the one that restored honor to my home. Turns out, I made it worse and my brother ended up saving the world with the Avatar.”

“You wanted to save the Fire Nation? Did you think it needed saving?”

Azula looked away from her, her striking ember eyes revealing a hint of guilt. She kept her eyes down as she spoke, her stare focusing on the gaps between the stone floor. “I wasn’t blind to what happened behind shut doors. In the palace there are hidden passages and halls. I would sneak my way in them, trying to solve the maze of secret passageways. I would hear my grandfather and his generals talk about the war. One time, I heard one of the general speaking among themselves in the hall. They talked about a time where they raided a village and found a family hiding in a barn. He killed the man and took the woman…by force.”

“And what did you think about that?”

She let out a sad breathe, “I didn’t know what he meant ‘ _by force’_. I asked Zuko, but he didn’t answer me. He looked appalled, not that I overheard but what they did. Judging by his reaction, I knew it was bad when someone was taken by force.”

“Anything else that made you wanted to save the country?”

She looked back at the Doctor, giving a prideful smile. “I am good at stealth. Probably better than Zuko. I snuck in the Dragonbone Catacombs. You know the place the Fire Sages are at. I found scrolls. I read the truth of what the country did. How they burned the Air Temples and murdered the Air Nomads. What really scared me was Sozin was aiming to kill a child, the Avatar.”

“I’m sure that wasn’t a pleasant read for a child. Did you talk to Fir—your brother about what you read?” The Doctor almost slipped and called Zuko by his title. Though Azula is processing, she is still sensitive over her loss of the Agni Kai and that her brother became Fire Lord instead of her. Azula didn’t catch her slip.

“I was going to tell him, but I decided not to. I don’t know why. My brother and I shared everything.” Azula warmly smiled, her eyes glazing over as she remembered her relationship with her older brother. “We told each other everything. Besides Mai and Ty Lee, Zuko was my best friend.”

The Doctor gave Azula a moment to return her mind to the conversation. It was rare when she smiled like that. After a few seconds later, Azula let out another sigh and her attention returned to the Doctor.

“You mentioned Zuko was your best friend. Azula, looking back to that to now, when did that dynamic change?”

“For my brother and I? It all changed after my father saw my fire bending. It wasn’t too long after that I learned the truth. Zuko and I were practicing our bending out in the training yard and my father and grandfather happened to watch us. I saw father whispering to grandfather and then pointing to me. The next day, my father took me away from Zuko and began training me.”

“Were you happy?”

Azula looked at the doctor, the tear escaping down her cheek told her the answer. Their relationship grew since the night the doctor found her crying. Much has change since that emotional night three months ago. She didn’t hide her tears during her sessions with the Doctor. She let the Doctor see her in her most vulnerable and not many saw her like that. Honestly, she is probably the first person to see Azula like this. Azula still didn’t want to know her name and the Doctor didn’t mind. She understood Azula. Azula feels terrified that she would leave. She was scared they will create a bond and that bond will break.

Azula reached her hand to the doctor, a sign showing that she was breaking. She gripped her hand tightly onto hers, her eyes shut as she waited for the meltdown.

“I’m right here,” the doctor whispered. “It will pass. Just breathe. Remember, count to ten and if it doesn’t pass, count to 20.”

One. Two. Three. Azula’s body started to tremble, her anxiety peaking.

Four. Five. Six. Another tear dripped down her soft face.

Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Her eyes shut tightly, her head swaying, her breathing becoming rough.

Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. She inhaled deeply, counting to seventeen and then exhaled just as deeply. With her final deep breathe, her anxiety passed smoothly like a leaf caught up by the wind. Azula smiled to her, a warm smile filled with trust and admiration. “Thank you,” she said.

“That’s why I’m here,” the doctor joked. Her smile quickly disappeared. They were about to head into a forbidden topic. “Are you ready to talk about it?”

Azula’s eyes turned to panic. She knew exactly what the doctor meant. They’ve been avoiding the topic for some time now, but in order to get better they have to breaking through this block. Azula sighed and looked back at the doctor, her eyes changing to acceptance, “Yes.”

“Start whenever you want.”

“I hated him,” Azula started, her tone filled with venom and disgust. “I hated him. He took away everything I loved, my brother, my mother, my friends. That first day, I don’t know how much I cried. He treated me like a soldier. He barked orders at me, yelled at me for my stance, even struck me if I performed a technique wrong. I was 6 years old. I was a little girl! And….and he treated me like a soldier.” She was shaking by then. The talk of the past brought the nightmares she tried to so hard to lock away,

“Azula?”

She composed herself, she needs to be strong and pull through this conversation. “I’m fine, thank you,” she reassures her. “That first year was terrible. He filled my head with lies _, ‘your mother hates you. Zuko hates you,’_ he would tell me. I didn’t believe him at first, but my mother started to reject me. I didn’t know then that my father threatened her. As for Zuko, it didn’t take much for him dislike me. My father would always favor me instead of him and for a boy to get rejected by his father…”

“Did you ever try to talk to him? Tell him that you didn’t want to train?”

“Of course I did,” Azula snaped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that. I did tell him. A month or two after, I stood up to him. We barely began the drills when I told him…

_A hot summer morning, while everyone else were inside, Azula was outside in the heat, fire bending. Her father just forced the girl outside, not letting her finish her breakfast._

_“Azula, your form is incorrect again! Do I need to demonstrate it for the second time,” Ozai screamed._

_A small girl, no older than 6, approached her father. Her eyes looking away from him, “Father, I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to return to Zuko and-”_

_The poor girl didn’t get to finish her sentence before her father slapped her. She fell to the ground, hot tears streaming down her face. She saw her father get close to her, his monstrous glare trained on her, “You ungrateful girl! What did I tell you? Your brother hates you. What makes you think he wants to spend his days with you,” he screamed at her._

“As you can tell, I didn’t want to ask him again. I never arrived late to training and I never questioned him again after that”

The doctor remained speechless at Azula’s story. Granted, she knew the past Fire Lord was cruel, but to treat his own daughter like that, it was pure evil. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how Zuko was treated. “Your mother? Where was she during all this?”

“My mother was always next to Zuko. My father told her not to interfere with our training. I know now he threatened her, but I don’t know with what. I’m sure it was about Zuko or her family. The first year was just training and manipulating on his part. By the second year, I downright hated my brother. I treated him like a common peasant. Deep down I was aware of what I was doing.”

Azula stood up from her chair and started to pace in her cell. She paused to look at the Doctor then continued to pace.

“Do you want to continue,” the doctor asked. She knew what this meant to Azula and what she is feeling. They made enough progress for today and she didn’t want to push the Princess.

“Another time, Doctor,” she whispered back, sounding more like the scared child than a ruthless killer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I want to thank you for reading! I am transferring this from FF.net and revising the chapters. I started to write this back in early 2013 and picked it back up a month ago. So again, thank you a thousand times. Seeing the hits, kudos, and subscriptions makes me so happy that people are enjoying this.


	7. Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protect: To cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction.

They met three times a week and each session Azula has been opening up more, exposing what hid underneath the tough exterior. Not each session involved her past, the Doctor was careful with the subject. She wouldn’t bring it up unless Azula did. The important part of her healing process was her coming to terms of what happened. So instead, they spent a lot of time playing pai sho, drinking tea, or just talking about whatever subject Azula wanted. Last session, Azula joked about the time her friends and her went a party at Ember Island and her attempt at flirting. The session didn’t last long however. It brought painful memories of her childhood friends.

It was late in the afternoon. Their usual scheduled time was delayed because of another episode Azula had. She was sedated and only woke up about an hour ago. They begun their session as usual. The Doctor poured a cup of oolong tea for Azula and herself. As always, she waited for Azula to initiate the conversation.

“It’s a little cold,” Azula noted as she took another sip from her cup.

“Yes, it seems it is. I’ll heat it up.”

Azula handed her cup back to her and the Doctor used her bending to heat up the liquid and the pot next to her. “It should be warm now.” She return the cup to Azula, giving her a warm smile that Azula tried to return in a half smile.

Something trigged her memory from the heat of the cup and the smell of heated metal. Her small smile dropped, and she looked at the Doctor. She took three deep breaths and the session begun.

“The first time I killed, I was 10. My father was raising me to be ruthless and without mercy,” Azula whispers, her voice small like a scared child admitting to a wrongdoing. “The smell of burnt flesh. It haunted me for days after that. Father instructed me to pass the sentence on the man. He was found guilty of treason against the Fire Nation.”

“How did you react,” the doctor asks, feeling sad for the young princess forced actions.

“The death or the crime?”

“Both.”

Azula rolled her eyes, not at the Doctor but the crime the man was charged with. “He was sentenced to death because of _treason_. The crime as my father put it, he questioned our country’s role in the world.”

“And you didn’t agree with it? Did you ask your father why it had to be you that carried the role or asked if someone else could do it?”

“I didn’t. I learned my lesson last time,” she said, looking away with disgust and hatred directed at the man who destroyed her. “I started with animals, Zuko’s pet actually. It was last thing that finally drove us apart. You see, mother bought him the creature. It was the last gift she left. Father had me slowly roast the creature. I cried while I did it, so father burned me.”

“He burned, _you_ ,” the Doctor’s eyes widen in horror. She was caught of guard and her usual hidden emotions leaked out.

Azula hesitantly pulled down her pants, revealing a handprint burn mark on her upper right thigh. “I hid it pretty well. Then again, he made sure it was something that can be hidden easily.” she laughed then. “I guess Zuko and I have something we can cry about, our shared torture from our _father._ ”

She stopped talking and stared past the Doctor, staring at figure behind her.

It smiled at her, a vile wicked smile.

_“You enjoyed killing after that.” It laughed, a nasty laugh. “All those people you murdered in the Earth Kingdom trying to please him. Tell her, Azula. Tell her how much you laughed when you ripped that mother from the arms of her child because she lied about seeing Zuko and your uncle. Her daughter was around you age.”_

Azula screamed, she trashed around and a blue spark threaten to shoot towards the Doctor, aiming for the figure behind her. A small fire ball flew from her hand, but the Doctor was prepared and extinguished the fire with her own bending.

“Is it back, Azula,” the Doctor asks her. Azula slowly nods, her eyes never tearing away from the figure. 

“I can’t,” she sobbed, looking down at the ground avoiding the figure’s gaze. “I’m scared,” she whispered so low that the Doctor almost didn’t catch it.

“It’s okay to be scared, Azula. WE can face it together, I promise.”

Azula slowly nods her head, still not meeting the Doctor’s eyes or the figure. The Doctor turns to looks at it, but doesn’t turn her back from Azula. She learned from past patients with hallucinations that it helped when she acknowledged to whatever the patient was seeing. It made them feel that they weren’t alone.

_“She can’t replace her, Azula. But I can make sure she suffers the same fate.”_

Azula gasps and finally looks up. She stands up, grabbing the Doctor’s hand and pulls her behind her, protecting her. She raises her arms and looks as deadly as she did before the agni kai with her brother. And just like that the figure leaves, laughing at her. Azula doesn’t move, still posed ready to fight, her eyes darting around the room as if expecting an attack.

“I won’t let it hurt you,” she tells the Doctor. “Stay behind me until it’s safe.”

The Doctor tries to hold in the big smile threatening to come out. In all her reports and case notes about Azula it never noted of her showing any type of protectiveness. Not even when it came to her friends during a fight with enemy forces. Her way of thinking was making sure she was okay before all others. If a person can’t protect themselves, she will cast them as weak and leave to suffer or die. She was raised to think like this. But at this moment, all Azula can think is protecting the Doctor.

“I think it’s safe now,” Azula spoke. She turned back to the Doctor, tilting her head and looking her over to make she wasn’t hurt. “I would like more tea now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! A few notes on the Doctor's treatment course. I am basing this off from my own personal experience in therapy. I experience audio and visual hallucinations and during my therapy when I saw things, my therapist would turn to where I saw it. It helped me and it made feel that like I wasn't alone. I know it's not there, but it feels like it is so it's nice when someone believes me. 
> 
> Again, thank you much for reading!


	8. Intermission Part 2

“Azula is getting better. Her treatment is helping. And unlike the other doctors, she isn’t trying to kill them,” Zuko chuckles, trying to make light of dark events.

“She is a wonderful doctor. She has helped a lot of veterans get through their dark past, myself included. Liberating Ba Sing Se haunted me, still haunts me. I ended the lives of my countrymen,” Iroh sadly states. He pours another cup of tea for himself and then for Zuko who is busy looking at piece of parchment.

Zuko reads the letter he wrote, fighting with himself not to send it. He wrote many letters to Azula but knew he couldn’t send them. He doesn’t know when he will be able to see her. He asked again last time he met with the doctor and again she told him the same answer. It will be too much for Azula to handle. So instead, he writes unsent letters. He writes about his day, how court life and ruling a broken country is like. He writes about things that reminded him of her. In one letter he wrote of the things he found from their childhood and her favorite book. He asked the Ember Island Players to start planning a play of it, knowing full well Azula and him will never see it together.

“Zuko,” Iroh asks seeing his nephew blankly staring at the papers and the state it caused him.

He didn’t realize he was crying. It wouldn’t be the first time he cried about Azula. After the agni kai, when he accompanied Azula to the hospital, he went to bed crying that night. He remembered holding on to Katara for dear life as she performed another healing session.

He found his voice. He started to talk about the latest update he received. He told his uncle the training Ozai forced on her. How he struck her for her incorrect bending forms and how he forced her to kill at only the age of 10. He remembered that day. He didn’t know what happened, but he noticed a change about her. Lastly, he told her about the burn.

“I knew about his _training_ with Azula. I never said anything about it.” Zuko looked at his uncle. His eyes filled with anger and betrayal. Iroh noticed it and sighed, “I was a different man then, no different than my younger brother,” Iroh guiltily admits. “I take partial blame in how my niece turned out. I always favored you, especially after Lu Ten’s passing. You looked so much like him and I needed that.”

“Uncle, how do you think I feel? She is my baby sister. I should’ve been there for her, I shouldn’t have let her go,” he looks at his Uncle, not meeting his eyes. He felt anger at his uncle’s confession and remorse for his sister. “We all ignored her.”

They remained silent for some time, letting the guilt swallow them. Zuko has been updating his Uncle on Azula’s health. The doctor revealed to him she was burned by their father two weeks ago. He hasn’t heard anything since. He hasn’t gone to the hospital since she started to treat Azula.

“He burned her, that piece of shit burned my baby sister because she didn’t want to kill an animal. I contemplated marching to his pathetic cell and killing him. It’s one thing to do that to me, but to her? It’s unforgiveable. He deserves to die.” Even now, Zuko wants nothing more than deliver the final blow Aang didn’t do. At the last meeting with the Avatar, Zuko all but threw him off the palace grounds. He felt a tiny part of guilt seeing Aang’s hurt face, but it wasn’t enough to cover his thirst for revenge. Katara and Sokka had to pull him away from Aang and when they asked what caused his uproar Zuko told them. Sokka was disgusted but said killing Ozai would not accomplish anything. Katara however was understanding of wanting to avenge his sister just how she wanted to avenge her mother. ‘ _How would you feel if Hakoda scarred Katara’_ he asked him. Zuko stares at his uncle and the five words that come out is filled with venom, “I want to kill him.”

Iroh doesn’t say anything. He knows how Zuko feels, the love for a younger sibling. He saw how his brother started to become a monster. He was no different, he was a killer too. A proud General of the Fire Nation. He remembers telling Ozai how the rest of the world needed to submit to the Fire Nation. He proudly told him about a young earth bender who tried to fight him and how Iroh laughed at his attempt and burned him on the spot. Ozai looked up to older brother and it resulted in the death of thousands.

“My son, we cannot blame ourselves for the path our younger siblings took. We can carry the weight of the guilt and shame, we can hate ourselves, but what good does that good? It was too late to help my brother. By time I returned to the Fire Nation, after Lu Ten’s death, Ozai was a different man and I was too,” he took Zuko and embraced him. “You haven’t given up on Azula. What matters is that you are helping her now. You love her and somewhere, she still loves you.”

“I do, uncle. I just want to protect my little siser.”


	9. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Release: To set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude

The Doctor’s and Azula relationship grew since that confrontation three months ago. Their trust for one another increased. The restraints that held Azula were gone. She wasn’t strapped down anymore. There weren’t a group of Kyoshi Warriors watching their every movement. Of course, one always remained outside the cell, but Azula didn’t mind. She finally understood the danger she is and how her actions led to devastation. She has accepted her sentence. 

After the Agni Kai, she was taken straight to a cell as she awaited trial to answer for her war crimes. Mai and Ty Lee as well were moved to the Capital where they awaited their own trials. Ty Lee was found guilty, but her defense argued that she never took a life and she committed those crimes against by force. It wasn’t known until then that Azula held her family as hostages in the event Ty Lee betrayed Azula. She was sentenced to 5 years, but then Suki, as the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors and a war hero, convinced the court that rehabilitation with the Kyoshi Warriors would be better suited. No one argued with her.

Mai was another story. Zuko couldn’t take mercy on her, he wanted the Fire Nation to change and knew as the Fire Lord, he can’t intervene with the law. Unlike Ty Lee, she wasn’t held against her will. Azula didn’t hold her family as hostages. She committed crimes and murder. Mai loved Zuko and knew his role as Fire Lord was too important The Fire Nation needed to see that he wasn’t corrupt like his family. He needed to guide the Fire Nation to a peaceful and loving era. So when her trial came, Zuko had to stand and watch as her sentence was read. 10 years. It would’ve been more, but her defense argued that her actions against Azula at the Boiling Rock made it so Zuko can escape and become Fire Lord. Aang offered to help, but Zuko didn’t allow it. The Avatar is supposed to be neutral and more importantly, it was important that Aang could not favor one nation’s leader. Besides, this was matters of Fire Nation law.

Then Azula’s trial happened. Her war crimes were too grand to ignore. The trial went on for months. The Earth Kingdom wanted her executed but her defense pled insanity. It was clear Azula’s wasn’t right in the head and was sentenced to a mental institute on an island just outside the Capital. She was sentenced to 500 years to life. She will never be free. She was too dangerous to be left out. Her being locked up was to protect others.

But today she was free. She hasn’t felt the warmth of the Sun since her sentencing almost two years ago. As a firebender, she draws her power from the Sun, so they had to keep her underground away from the Sun. She has been in that cell for two years until now. The Doctor pulled some strings and convinced the warden and medical director to allow Azula out in the courtyard as long as she is restrained and with a high level Kyoshi Warrior to guard her.

“How does the Sun feel, Azula,” the doctor asks as she pushes on the wheelchair. “It’s been a long time since you were outside. I’m sorry from the restraints.”

Azula looked at her restraints on her arms and legs. She had to wear the straitjacket again, but it didn’t bother her. “I don’t mind them. It makes the others safer and that’s all that matters. I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable or scared.”

“That’s good, Azula. Acknowledging others is showing you are empathic to their concerns. I know its difficult to do that and I am so proud of you,” she smiles at her, Azula has came so far since they started their sessions ten months ago. Azula admitted she wanted to get better. At their last session, she told the Doctor she wants to be free one day but knows it will be impossible. But, she wants a bit more freedom. She was so happy when the Doctor told her they will be going outside, even if she was restrained.

“Are those turtleducks,” she pointed at the nearby pond. “I remember mother and Zuko would spend their days at the pond in the Royal Garden. I was always jealous at that. One day, I threw rocks at them because I didn’t even want animals to be close to Zuko.”

The Doctor wheels them over to the lake. There was a reason she chose this courtyard out of the other three courtyards. The bonding between Zuko and their mother troubled Azula, its what started her anger against Zuko and broke their relationship. The turtleducks might help Azula mend the memories.

“They are cute little creatures, aren’t they? Do you have any bread so we can feed them. I know my hands are restrained, but you can feed them for me.” The doctor pulls out a loaf of bread and unties Azula’s right hand. “Thank you, Yuko.”

Last week, Azula finally asked for the Doctor’s name. She saw Yuko as her friend, her only friend. She also stopped demanding to be called Princess. It was such a big moment in her healing, Yuko even cried when she returned to her office that night.

“How’s Zuko and uncle? You mentioned you visit them yesterday. Did you pass along my drawing to him? I hope he liked it.”

“They are doing great. Zuko made a lot of progress. Him and Aang are trying to establish a place where people of all nations can live together, but there is some pushback. He loved the drawing, he remembers the story of the Dragon and The Princess. It’s his favorite story,” they feed the turtleducks together. One even came up to Azula asking for more bread.

“I’m sure he will convince them. He’s a great Fire Lord and has done so much for our country. I heard one of the guards talking the other night that some Earth Kingdom citizens were vacationing on Ember Island. Some even made a life here and became dual citizens. I am so happy for him. He is really is changing the Fire Nation.”

“Yes he is. He talks about you a lot, you know. He is always asking how you’re doing.”

“But he still hasn’t visited me,” she says sadly. Suddenly she starts to feel cold; the hair on her arms and back of her neck start rise. She looks up across the pond. She freezes and whispers, “Yuko, it’s here again.”

“Who is it, Azula,” she looks at the direction that Azula is staring at. Of course she doesn’t see anyone, but it makes Azula feel like she isn’t alone in her torment.

_“Azula, do you feel loved? You can’t even be trusted to be free of those restraints. Look around you, girl. There are guards and archers waiting for you to break again. Give them an excuse to kill you,” the figure starts to laugh at her, a wicked, ear piercing laugh._

“It’s for their own safety. I won’t hurt them,” she screams back. The Kyoshi Warrior moves closer to her, unsure what the firebender might do. The archers ready their arrow. They are all waiting nervously except for Yuko.

“ _Don’t be stupid, Azula. You are a killer. You have always been a killer. You think you’re getting better? Zuzu still hasn’t visited you. And that pathetic drawing, he threw it away the moment he saw it. He doesn’t read your letters. He just burns them.”_

“No, he didn’t. He reads them!”

“ _Zuzu isn’t going to love you.”_

“DON’T CALL HIM ZUZU!,” rage consumed her and roars a bright, great flame. The Kyoshi Warrior quickly rushes to Azula, Yuko waves her hand. Azula needs to confront the figure. She needs to stand up to it. “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL HIM ZUZU. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK ABOUT HIM. LEAVE US!”

It felt like hours passed until Azula calmed down. The figure finally disappeared, his laugh still lingering in the air and Azula was left peaceful again. She turned her head at the Kyoshi Warrior and up towards the guards and archers. She bows her head at them, “Forgive me for causing you all distress. Yuko,” she looks at the Doctor, concern in Azula’s eyes. “Are you ok? I didn’t scare you, did I?”

“No, Azula. I’m okay,” smiling down at her, they resume feeding the turtleducks. Azula offers a piece to the Kyoshi Warrior, but the warrior declines with a warm smile. “You firebended. How did that felt?”

“It felt strange honestly. I haven’t bended in so long and with Sun gracing me with it’s power, it felt overwhelming. Did you notice the fire though? I don’t think you did, but it was different fire.”

“How so?”

“Before, my fire was based on anger and killing. My fire was without mercy. This fire however was different. It wasn’t based on either of those. I felt the need to protect you, Yuko. I wasn’t going to let that monster hurt you. It can hurt me all it wants, but you cannot be harmed.”

Yuko pauses at what Azula said. Her fire did change. Not only did it change in charge but looked weaker. It was still a brilliant blue flame and no doubt a showcase of her mastery, but it was weaker. Yuko has seen Azula firebend before. It was chaotic. It was deadly, and like Azula said, it was merciless. Yuko may not be as talented as Azula, but she was a Master firebender herself. She understands very well how a person’s identity can change their fire. Zuko told her about the time his own fire changed to the point he couldn’t bend at all. A person’s moral alignment flowed together with their chi. When Zuko changed oppositions and accepted his destiny to help bring peace, his chi wasn’t powered by hate and anger. It’s a painful change. She is surprise neither him or Azula felt it, but then again it may be because they fully welcomed their new found energy. Azula was changing.

“Azula, what are you thinking,” Yuko asked softly.

“My fire changed,” she mutters to herself with a tone of relief.


	10. Peace

Azula and Yuko continued with their trips to the courtyard and on the tenth week, the restraints were gone. They even practiced basic beginning firebending lessons. Azula actually suggested it to her. ‘ _Uncle Iroh always mentioned the basics were key to controlling the inner fire_ ,’ she told Dr Yuko.

Azula sat in her cell mediating. Dinner arrived a while ago and the guards didn’t threw the tray on the floor. They opened the cell and handed it her, the guard even smiled at the young Princess. She was getting ready to sleep after mediating when the figure appeared.

“ _Good evening, Azula.”_

Azula ignored it as best as she could. She felt it behind her, but she tried to ignore it. It will pass, she will not give it the satisfaction of being scared.

“ _Look at me while I talk to you, you worthless swine!”_

Azula turned to it and was surprised there were two figures there.

“Mother,” she breathes. “GET AWAY FROM IT. RUN!”

_“Azula, stand up to it. I’m with you. Rid yourself of that pain,”_ the manifestation of Ursa sweetly tells her. She extends her hand to her as Azula drops to her knees in tears.

“I can’t mother. It’s too strong,” she cries out.

“ _You’re weak, just like your brother,”_ the dark figure spits out.

“SOMEONE PLEASE HELP,” Azula begs.

“Get Doctor Yuko,” one of the guards orders. “She’s in the common room. Tell her they’re back! HURRY!”

“ _The doctor isn’t going to help you tonight, Azula. She isn’t coming.”_

_“Azula, stand up. I’m with you.”_

Azula covers her ears, shaking her head with tears falling down. “No. No. NO. Please, just go away,” her voice breaks.

“ _Tonight you will die, Azula.”_

“Mommy, get Zuzu! Tell him to come. He can help,” Azula is now curled on the ground, shaking violently as the sobs grow louder. 

_“Azula, Zuko isn’t going to get here in time. You need to do this.”_

_“Then that Doctor will go, just like Zuko. Just like Mai and Ty Lee. Just like your mother.”_

Azula stops shaking and stands up, finally seeing the figure. She pulls up all the courage she can. Everything Dr Yuko and her worked so hard to achieve for the past year. With a determined face, she looks straight at the demon that has been haunting her. “NO, tonight you will leave me alone forever.”

The figure steps away from the shadow and Azula sees it for the first time. With her black gold trimmed armor and golden crown sitting on her top knot, she emerges. Her skin is a ghostly gray, hollowed black eyes, her lips pale, but its no mistaking it. This figure is Azula.

“ _My, you are a brave one. Do you think you can get rid of me so easily,”_ the other Azula shots out fire at Azula and she is thrown back, hitting the wall with her back and she drops to the floor. She stands up though, refusing to let the other Azula hold her down. “ _Are you going to fight, Princess?”_

“I am not you,” and Azula charges at her, both hands blazing with fire. She punches at her, throwing each punch with determination, but it dodges every hit. It jumps away from her, landing on the opposite side of the room.

It starts laughing and her lips curls and lets out a vicious snarl, “ _You can’t win.”_ Blast after blast heads to Azula. Each one hitting her. Azula is pushed against the wall again. She will not yield. She fights back and the room starts blazing with their blue fire. “ _I’m going to kill you, Azula.”_ It moves her body, index and ring finder pointed out. Azula feels the electricity in the room spark around her. Her eyes widen as she realizes the move. “ _I’ll show you what real lightning is.”_

She knows what coming next.

Azula breathes deeply and closes her eyes as the lightning strikes towards her. In that moment, Azula is at peace. She smiles remembering her brother and her playing at the beach. She remembers her mother. She remembers meeting her best friends and making a pact to be friends forever. She has made her peace. Then she remembers her father. All the things he has done. The pain he caused her and Zuko. Azula opens her eyes and just like Zuko, she captures the lightning. It stings her as it works through her body. She feels all her nerves exploding with pain, her heart pounding as the power of the attack threatens to overtake her.

“ _Let go, Azula.”_

Azula finally in control of the immense power, she redirects back at it. It hits her and her screams reminds Azula of the screams she had when Katara beat her. Azula finally killed her demon. That part of her that kept her down is finally dead.

_“You did it, my love. You did it. Now let me go, Azula. Let me go and be free.”_

“I love you, mommy,” she cries out before letting her legs finally give out and she falls to the ground. The fire in the room is closing in on her, but she doesn’t care. She lets the fire consume her. “I’m free,” she sighs in relief as the flames wraps towards her body.

The door suddenly swings open and Yuko grabs Azula and pulls out of the burning room. Waterbenders quickly arrive to put on the fire. Azula won’t stop crying as they make it to Yuko’s office. Yuko wraps a blanket around her and embraces her. She mumbles words in her hair, soothing Azula. She can’t hear what she is saying, she can’t hear anything with own her loud sobs.

“They’re gone,” she sobs. “It was me, Yuko. It was me the whole time.” Yuko doesn’t say anything, just holds her rocking her back and forth. “I was the monster. I have always been the monster. I caused so much pain to innocent people. I’m in this prison because I’m a monster.”

“You’re not a monster, Azula. You’re lost, but you are finally accepting what happened and who you were,” she is still holding her, but pulls away to look at her. “You are not a monster.”

“I caused pain. I murdered people. My fire caused destruction. How can anyone ever forgive me,” she stopped sobbing, but the tears still fell. “How can Zuko forgive me?”

“You forgave yourself, Azula. You are starting to love yourself, everything else will follow. I promise.”

Azula takes a deep breath and composes herself, “I did awful things, my sins will not be forgiven. There is nothing I can say or do that will make people forget what I did.”

“That is true. You did commit crimes and you will carry those sins on your shoulders forever but they do not define you. Yes, your fire caused lives to be lost and that is unforgiveable. You understand that and you grieve with the families. That is so much different than just ignoring it.”

Azula stands up, letting the blanket fall to the ground. She stares out the window to the night for a long time. She accepted her sins and crimes. She accepted who she was. She fought her demon and won. As the sun peaks from the horizon, Azula feels the Sun’s power fill her. The familiar dangerous power she has rising from her core. The same power that brought it all down.

“I need to write a letter.”


	11. Epilogue

_Five years later_

Azula wipes the sweat from her forehead as she picks up a basket of vegetables from her garden. It has been a good season and after many failed attempts at gardening, she finally managed to successful grow vegetables. She walks back to her small humble home and to the kitchen and proceeds to wash her vegetables before placing them in a boiling pot.

“I should check the fishing traps, hopefully I caught a fish or two,” she mutters to herself.

She lives on top of a hill overlooking a small Fire Nation village. The people know of her, but Azula tries of not bothering them. That’s why she took to gardening and fishing. She wants to be self-reliable so she can limit her trips into town. The villagers are still a little scared of her even after living here for three years. It’s okay though. Azula doesn’t want to disturb the peace she has created. The perfect peace she found and made a home out of it.

She walks to the beach, admiring the beautiful twilight. She checks her traps and to her surprise, she trapped four large mackerels. She lets out a small victory cry and thanks La for his gift.

“Hopefully the vegetables and the fish will be enough to feed everyone,” she walks back to her home and goes inside the kitchen. She has become quite the chef since living here. She trims the fins of the fishes and drizzles cooking oil on top of them while seasoning them. She snacks on fire flakes and she hums to herself while she cooks. She leaves the fish to roast on the fire before removing the vegetables from the pot.

“Ouch, still hot,” she blows on her hand and waves it around. She cuts the potatoes into slices and adds some cheese on top. She takes out the corn, careful not to burn her hands again and seasons them with some Fire Nation spices. The smell of the fish distracts her and she quickly goes to flip them. The dinner needs to be perfect. After a few minutes she flips them again before adding them to a cutting board and adds the final touches.

She goes out to the dining table and begins setting the table for her guests. Zuko gifted her with their mother’s old plate ware as a housewarming present. Azula always made sure the plate set was cleaned weekly, keeping them in pristine condition. As she reaches over the table to set a plate down, she smells a rather foul odor. Her cheeks redden at realization she smells like sweat and fish. She goes to her food and places them over a low temperature heat as not to overcook them while they stay heated.

She heads to her bedroom, passing the portraits Zuko gave her. A year ago, Zuko was cleaning some things from the family’s vault and came across paintings of the siblings when they were younger. Her favorite is of Zuko holding an infant Azula. The next portrait was Zuko at his wedding. It was beautiful. Azula didn’t want to attend the wedding. It was five months after her release and being around the royal court and especially the palace was too much for her. So Azula did the next best thing, she gave her blessing to Lihua to wear Ursa’s dress. It was supposed be worn by Azula on her wedding, but she was content being by herself.

The next portrait of a young 1 year old girl is her second favorite one. Izumi was the spitting image of Azula and her best friend. When it was time for Lihua to give birth, Zuko and her came to Azula’s island home for the birth. They knew Azula wanted to be there, but also knew she would not come to the capital so they went to her instead. Azula didn’t know it was possible to love something so deep so fast. _“I’ll protect her with my life.”_ She told Zuko the day Izumi was born. And when she heard Izumi’s first words was Lala, it broke down the last walls Azula kept around her heart.

She took a quick shower and changed to the most formal robes she still owned. She got rid of her old clothes, it only served as a reminder of who she was. The clothes she has now isn’t anything close to what he had. Nothing to be worn among the royal court and she loved that. Just a simple sleeved black tunic with a dark red vest with a gold sash tied around on her waist and with a long red skirt reaching just above her ankles.

Just as she makes it the dining room, there is a knock on her door.

“Come in! Door is open,” she yells out.

“I brought my famous fire noodles, Azula,” Iroh happily announces as he walks in. 

“It smells amazing, Azula! I can’t wait to eat,” Ty Lee enters holding a fruit tart, with Mai right behind her. Mai was just recently released from prison and the dinner is a welcome home party for her.

“Wow, Azula, never thought you would get better at cooking. It doesn’t smell like burnt seal meat this time,” Zuko finally enters, teasing his little sister.

“I think my skills in the kitchen are almost at Katara’s level by now,” Azula jokes back. “Did you bring Izumi?”

As the sound of name, a small girl comes running full force to Azula’s waiting arms.

“Lala,” she cries out in a happiness.

Azula picks her up in her arms, spinning her. “Hello my little turtleduck. I have missed you.”

Still in her arms Izumi wraps her small arms around Azula’s neck to hug her. “My painting!” Azula looks up to her brother, her eyebrows raised. “Daddy, my painting!”

Zuko pulls out a parchment from his pocket and hands it to Azula. She smiles upon seeing it, a small tear forming. “It’s her favorite story, you know. She thinks you’re the princess in the story.”

It was drawing of a red dragon, well it looked more like a fish outline with red ink shading it, and next to it was a stick figure resembling Azula.

“It’s beautiful,” Azula kisses her niece’s cheek before putting her back down for her to run to Iroh. She can hear her calling him grandpa.

Azula wipes the tear on the face before hugging her older brother then turns to Mai. “Mai, I’m so happy you’re back home! Will you be returning to Omashu to your parents?”

“No, I decided to go to Kyoshi Island. Suki offered me a place to stay and train with them. Though, my knife skills are pretty rusty now,” Mai grabs a seat at the table. It’s been a long time since she had a homecooked meal and her stomach won’t stop growling with hunger. “When can we eat?”

“Soon, I promise. Zuzu, help me bring the food out please.”

Zuko and Azula walk back to the kitchen, gathering the food on a tray.

“How are you doing? Yuko was here last week, she sends her regards.”

Yuko and her still kept in contact. She still visits Azula at least twice a week to continue with her therapy sessions.

“I’m doing great. We finally finished building the VA hospital. After returning from the war, a lot of veterans developed ptsd and there wasn’t that much help for them until now that is. What you created with Yuko has been life changing! I wish you would’ve put your name on the building though. It was your idea to begin with.”

“I told you, Zuko. I want to live in peace. I don’t need that recognition.”

“My dear, did you make any tea. I have some tea leaves I brought from Ba Sing Se,” Iroh suddenly appeared at the doorway, eagerly waiting for his tea cup to be filled. 

“Of course, uncle. Let me get a pot ready,” Azula walks over to the counter, grabbing the kettle on the shelf on the way. She places it on the counter and starts looking around for something. “Damn, I had it just a while ago. What did I do with it?”

“Need help with something,” Zuko calls out.

“No, I don’t think so. I just misplaced by spark rocks. Can you light the fire instead, but don’t make it too hot. You know how Uncle hates that,” she moves away from the counter to give Zuko space to light the fire with his bending. “I forget how useful bending is for common things. You know how many spark rocks I go through a month!”

They remain quiet for a while as he prepares the tea until Zuko breaks the silence. “Do you miss it? Bending,” he asks quietly. They rarely speak of her bending. He heard of Azula’s letter to Aang requesting him to take away her bending the day after it was sent. He wasn’t thrilled but he understood Azula needed this to heal.

Azula sighs and stares at the fire, “No, I’m happy. My bending caused too much pain and I was ashamed of it. It was the reason for so much unhappiness in my life. I’m glad it’s gone. I will forever be grateful for the gift Aang gave me.” She grabs one of the trays of food and starts walking to the door, “Come on before they start yelling.”

Zuko and Azula walk together and enter a room with their friends and family laughing and Azula never felt better. This is her family. Her happiness. Her freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! It makes me sooooo happy seeing all the kudos, hits and comments you give. I have another ATLA story I'm writing. Its an OC/Zuko fic and I hope you like it as much as this one. 
> 
> I like to think Azula found peace at the end. All she wanted was love and in the end she got that. She got her brother back. I'm happy I gave her that. Azula was always my favorite character in the story. She had a lot of her inner turmoil as Zuko but I think she was scared to speak out because she knew what her dad could do. I wish they put more in her and Zuko's childhood but hey that's what we fanfic writers are for, right!?
> 
> Again, a thousand thank you!


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